Monthly Archives: October 2010

Makaala Moment #9

The Rolling Stones are coming to town and my Grandma, whose older then God is going to try and see them. (7)

answer:

1. We have an agreement problem—“The Rolling Stones” is singular, so we need to use the verb “is” and the pronoun “them” or a corresponding noun. Yes, this sounds stupid. Welcome to my world. Maybe this would be a good time to emphasize the difference between the spoken word and the written word.

2. We need a comma before the conjunction “and” connecting the two independent clauses.

3. “Grandma” is a common noun and begins with a lower case letter; “Grandma” without the possessive pronoun “my” would be a proper noun.

4. The possessive pronoun “whose” should be the contraction “who’s.”

5. The adverb “then” should be the conjunction “than.”

6. We need a comma after “God” to set off the nonessential adjective clause.

7. “to try and see” should be the side-by-side infinitives “to try to see.”

corrected version might read

The Rolling Stones is coming to town, and my grandma, who’s older than God, is going to try to see the concert.

October 25 – 29, 2010

Monday: D schedule

Last week’s homework: group poem should be annotated for use in group today

Today’s homework: Write up draft of poetry of illustration (due Wednesday, 10/27) printed out ready for exchanging – ** students who do not turn in a draft will be on mandatory study help until the draft is in.

**Period 8 Wednesday and Thursday at Midkiff

Homework this week: Read and annotate books 1-4 providing gists for each section on your Odyssey notes (quiz with notes on Monday, November 1)

Vocabulary tree dis- due on Thursday to bb (10/28)

Final essay of illustration on Wed 11/3

Tuesday C schedule

Due at beginning of class: Write up draft of poetry of illustration  printed out ready for exchanging – ** students who do not turn in a draft will be on mandatory study help until the draft is in.

**Period 7 Today and Friday – Midkiff

Vocabulary tree dis- due on Friday to bb (10/29)

Final essay of illustration on Tues, Nov. 2

Wednesday D schedule

Due upon arrival at Midkiff – draft **failure to turn in a draft will result in mandatory study hall in Paki 101

Homework: peer review – finish and bring back to Midkiff on Thursday (10/28)

Thursday 10/28 PM modified

Period 7 only –

due in class – annotated poems for group work today and peer reviewed essays to be returned to partner

HW: due in BB – vocab tree dis- Friday, 10/29, work on final


Final essay of illustration due 11/2

Period 8 only

Midkiff with returned peer papers

HW: vocab tree dis- due TODAY on  bb, annotations and gist ready for Odyssey discussion and quiz on Monday 11/1

Final essay of illustration due on 11/3

Friday A schedule

Midkiff

DUE today vocab. tree due in bb

Weekend homework (period 7) –read and annotate books 1-4 of Odyssey filling out gist for each book on notes framework by Tuesday 11/2

Final essay of illustration due Tuesday 11/2


Gem – thesis to conclusion

What works?

Thesis: The poem “Ode to Fort Street“ by Imaikalani Kalahele, talks about how Hawaii is constantly changing its form from being a cultural homeland to a westernized civilization.  The speaker talks about how from the past to the present, the poem not only talks about how Hawaii changes but how the natives change as well.

First power 2 statement (paragraph 2): The speaker is speaking to the people in the present and she is telling them how the past has been greatly changed and affected by colonization. This is shown in the pattern of the poem or the alternating stanzas.

Second power 2 (3rd paragraph): The author’s purpose in this poem was to demonstrate and put a stop to colonization or the changing of a native’s perspective or way of living life.

Conclusion: In conclusion, Kalahele is trying to persuade and prove to the people today that our Hawaiian culture is precious and makes us who we are. Even though people have tried to change our ways and persuade us otherwise, we have the power to change and carryout our legacy as true Hawaiians.

Gem – poetry analysis thesis

The poem “Blood Quantum” by Naomi Losch, talks about how in 1920, a law said if you had 50 percent Hawaiian, you were eligible for Hawaiian Homestead.  Ever since then, all following laws require 50 percent, so many Hawaiians lose out on what they deserve even though at heart, they are just as much, if not more Hawaiian.

What works? Why is this a gem?

October 18-22, 2010

Don't let the ship sail without you

Monday, 10/18 Monday schedule 1-8

Agenda:

SSR today, finish presentations/ oral analysis of group poem, essay of illustration intro

DUE TODAY:

Vocabulary tree trans- for period 8 only (period 7 tree was due last Friday)

HOMEWORK:

  1. Poetry Analysis 3 (due next class)
  2. Vocab. tree pre- due at the end of the week
  3. Thesis/outline due for essay of illustration due Wednesday for period 7, Thursday for period 8

Tuesday, 10/19 B schedule 2-4-6-8

DUE TODAY: Poetry Analysis 3 in bb

HOMEWORK: Thesis/outline for  essay of illustration

Wednesday, 10/20 A schedule 1-5-7-3

DUE TODAY: Thesis/outline for essay of illustration

HOMEWORK: Vocabulary tree pre-

Thursday, 10/21, 2010 B schedule 2-4-6-8

DUE TODAY: Thesis/outline for essay of illustration & Vocabulary tree pre-

HOMEWORK: Annotation for group poem

Friday, 10/22 C schedule 3-7-5-1

DUE TODAY: Vocabulary tree pre-

HOMEWORK: Annotation of group poem & Draft of essay of illustration (outlines and thesis returned today)

UPCOMING:

Drafts in hand on Tuesday, 10/26 (period 7) OR Wednesday, 10/27 period 8



Maka’ala Moment #8

Neither the amount of times Mr. Vinta has run out the classroom screaming, nor where he scurries off to are as important as the fact that he eventually comes crawling back. (5)

1. “amount” should be “number.”

2. We don’t use a comma with a correlative conjunction (“Neither. . . nor. . .”).

3. If at all possible, avoid ending a clause with a preposition.

4. We have a parallel structure problem—a noun (“amount” or “number”) follows the first part of the correlative conjunction and a clause (“where he scurries. . . “) follows the second part.

5. The correlative conjunction also creates an agreement problem; the plural verb “are” should be the singular “is.”

A correct version might read

Neither the number of times Mr. Vinta has run out the classroom screaming nor his destination is as important as the fact that he eventually comes crawling back.

Tagged ,

Gem – Paragraph one – poetry analysis

Here’s a “gem” from one of your classmates. In the comment section, tell me why it’s a gem. What works? Why is it gem worthy? Structure wise, how does it set up the rest of the paper?

Spear Fisher
The poem “Spear Fisher” by Joe Balaz stresses the differences between foreigners and Hawaiians when dealing with the earth and its resources. The poem talks about foreigners coming to Hawaiʻi and fishing for self-seeking glory, whereas another person fishes to sustain him/herself. The poem stresses the differences and at the end concludes with a strong message about the use of the ʻāina.

October 12-15, 2010

Tuesday C schedule 3-7-5-1

Due today

  • Extended metaphor poem in hand for peer review
  • Poetry analysis practice paper 2 (in blackboard under the assignment)
  • 5 comments on the book review blog

Due for next class

  • Final extended metaphor poem in BB (by Tuesday)
  • Comment/evaluation sheet plus self-reflection for extended metaphor poem in basket in class
  • Annotation of “Uluhaimalama” by Mahealani Perez-Wendt (p.95) and “Waka 99” by Robert Sullivan (p. 201)

Due this week

  • Vocabulary tree trans- (across); key word trans-Pacific (across the Pacific). The Hokule’a will go on a trans-Pacific journey in 2011.

Wednesday – no classes –

Thursday October 14, 2010 8-6-4-2

Due today

  • Poetry analysis practice paper 2 (in blackboard under the assignment)
  • 5 comments on the book review blog
  • Final extended metaphor poem in BB
  • Comment/evaluation sheet plus self-reflection for extended metaphor poem in basket in class

Due for next class

  • Vocabulary tree trans- (across); key word trans-Pacific (across the Pacific). The Hokule’a will go on a trans-Pacific journey in 2011.
  • Annotate “The Broken Gourd” p. 224, “The Mountains of Taʻū” p. 246
  • Poetry analysis practice #3 on “Waka 99” OR “Uluhaimalama” p. 99


October 4-5, 2010

Last Monday schedule of the quarter (:

Monday, October 4 – Monday schedule

Hoʻomākaukau: SSR and reading log checks (NO VOCAB. TREE THIS WEEK )

Hoʻomaʻamaʻa:

  • print out your extended metaphor poem
  • print out your partner evaluation form (forms/resources – extended metaphor – partner evaluation form)
  • staple the two pieces together with your poem on top
  • have a partner evaluate/rate you
  • you as the author complete the reflection question on the bottom
  • turn in at the end of the period

Tuesday, October 5 D schedule 8-6-4-2

poetry packets

Work over the break –

Poetry analysis 2 on blackboard (choose from the poems annotated)

5 comments on blogs