Monthly Archives: December 2010

Gem discussion – what should an essay look like on an exam?

This discussion board example is from our Odyssey final essay question that was given to you a week ahead of the test:

Give three examples of Odysseus’ heroism and two ways he is non-heroic. Discuss.

The attached file contains two student samples, one a gem, one not. What makes the gem a better essay?

Odyssey quiz discussion

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Gem – Essay of Illustration

This is an A paper for the Essay of Illustration – poetry analysis.

What works? Why is it an A?

Make A Fist

December 6 – 10, 2010

Monday, Dec. 6 A schedule 1-5-7-3

Due today: Essay of Illustration – Odysseus cluster map or outline AND thesis

Agenda:

Odyssey final open notes, open book

Manga work pages 5-6

finalize 1-4

Homework:

Due Wednesday:

  • Draft #1 with self-evaluation to bb (attach both highlighted draft #1 as well as self-evaluation form with “x” on items you checked)
  • Manga pages 5-6 for peer feedback

Due Friday:

  • Draft #2 brought into class for peer evaluation
  • Vocab tree chron to bb

Tuesday Dec 7 B schedule 2-4-6-8

Due today: Essay of Illustration – Odysseus cluster map or outline AND thesis

Agenda:

Odyssey final open notes, open book

Manga work pages 5-6

finalize 1-4

Homework:

Due Thursday:

  • Draft #1 with self-evaluation to bb (attach both highlighted draft #1 as well as self-evaluation form with “x” on items you checked)
  • Manga pages 5-6 for peer feedback

Due Friday:

  • Draft #2 brought into class for peer evaluation
  • Vocab tree chron to bb

Wednesday Dec 8 A schedule 1-5-7-3

Due today: draft #1 with self-evaluation in bb; manga pages 5-6 for peer feedback

Agenda:

Prep for vocab tree final (make notes)

Prep for essay of illustration on final exam week

Manga peer feedback

Work on final pages

Due Friday:

  • Draft #2 brought into class for peer evaluation
  • Vocab tree chron to bb

Thursday, Dec 9 B schedule 2-4-6-8

Due today: draft #1 with self-evaluation in bb; manga pages 5-6 for peer feedback

Agenda:

Prep for vocab tree final (make notes)

Prep for essay of illustration on final exam week

Manga peer feedback

Work on final pages

Due Friday:

  • Draft #2 brought into class for peer evaluation
  • Vocab tree chron to bb

Friday all classes

Due today: Draft #2 in hand; vocab tree in bb

Agenda: essay of illustration peer review; work on final

Homework this weekend:

Essay of illustration final due Monday; Prep for vocab tree quiz on Monday

Finals for this class: Tuesday, Dec. 14

Maka’ala Moments #13

In the bible it says “Blessed are the jugglers”, although sadly, there’s  less Christian jugglers around today then in christ’s time.(8)

There are nine mistakes:

1. “Bible” is a proper noun and should be capitalized. Although it’s a book, it’s seldom underlined.

2. “it” is a vague pronoun.

3. Generally (unless the quotation is very short), we use a comma between “says” and the quotation.

4. The comma goes inside the closing quotation mark.

5. “sadly” should either be separated with commas or not—it can’t be partially separated.

6. “there’s should be “there are.”

7. “less” should be “fewer.”

8. The adverb “then” should be the conjunction “than.”

9. The proper possessive pronoun “christ’s” should be capitalized.

Here’s a corrected version:

The Bible says, “Blessed are the jugglers,” although sadly there are fewer Christian jugglers around today than in Christ’s time.

Maka’ala Moment #12

My Grandmother used to always say that “Whomever lays down with dogs ends up scaring cats”, but I never understood what that crazy woman meant. (6)

1. “Grandmother” should be lower case.

2. Avoid splitting the infinitive “to say.”

3. Remove either “that” for direct quotation or the quotation marks for paraphrase.

4. The objective case “Whomever” should be the nominative case “Whoever.”

5. The transitive verb “lays” should be the intransitive verb “lies.”

6. The comma should be placed inside the quotation mark.

A corrected version might read

My grandmother always used to say, “Whoever lies down with dogs ends up scaring cats,” but I never understood what that crazy woman meant.